This Side of Paradise
by kat cubed
Summary: Mina and Candace are embarking on their very own Pokemon adventure - just because two boys did it. Hilarity ensues as the girls prove that they too can be good trainers and masters of Pokemon - and ultimately, rivals of the boys they're chasing after!
1. Leaving Home

Oh my. I'm branching out with my best friend Natalie to write a Pokemon fic. Laugh all you want, because it is pretty freaking hilarious. We don't own the Pokemon universe, although I wish I could kill off some of the new ones that just don't make sense.

BUT! We DO own Candace, Mina, Boyce, Gavin, Craig, and all of their families. So score… however many points that is.

But enjoy because you know you will!!

* * *

Mina stood in the bright sunlight in Mauville City, her hand on her forehead to block out its bright rays. A huge smile spread across the red-head's face when she caught a glimpse of her best friend's blonde hair running towards her.

"Candace, Candace! Oh my gosh, we're off to see the world! Aren't you excited beyond everything?!"

Her words spewed out of her mouth quickly and the happy look on her face didn't vanish as the energetic girl began to jump up and down from her hardly-contained excitement. When the blonde hair reached Mina, the girl attached to it seemed just as enthusiastic.

"Oh my god, I know, this is absolutely amazing! You have to see my Pokemon, he's adorable!" Candace gushed, doubling over with her hands on her knees as she quickly regained her breath. The sixteen year old had just run all the way from her house to the center of the city without pause.

Candace reached toward her belt, stopping when her hand brushed across not just one, but two pokeballs. She gave a small smile.

"Well, my sister kind of gave me another Pokemon, too… She didn't think it was smart for me to travel with just this little guy," she said, releasing a Pokemon from one of the pokeballs. A tiny creature that resembled an acorn appeared – in fact, the Pokemon was an acorn with eyes.

Mina's erratic jumping came to a halt when the Pokemon was released from it's ball, her eyes becoming wide when she saw the acorn-thing on the ground. Slowly her hands curled into fists and her fists drifted to her mouth.

"He. Is. So. Cute. CANDACE! When did you catch him? Why didn't you tell me you caught him! More importantly than that, why didn't we know these things were so cute in the first place?! Ahh I'm going to die!"

People around the girls were giving them a wide berth at first, but they were now going out of their way to avoid the out-of-breath girl beside a Pokemon and the screeching girl across from it. Mina then bent down to the level of the beast, stretched out her hand and patted the cute thing on the head.

"I'm so freaking jealous!" Suddenly she leapt to her feet and faced her friend. "Speaking of jealous, I'm about to head to the Pokemon center and trade this Zigzagoon for a Pokemon from another region – wanna come? After that I should be ready to ship off!"

Her hand quickly performed a salute and winked, reaching down to her feet to grab her worn knapsack filled with will-be-needed supplies.

Candace giggled, clapping her hands together giddily. She reached down to pick up her Pokemon, gathering the small grass-type in her arms.

"Well, I didn't tell you because I only caught him a little while ago. He's a Seedot. Isn't it great? I caught a nut!"

"See!" Seedot cooed happily, further fueling Candace's squeals. The blonde paused in her glee, however, when Mina mentioned the trade.

"That's awesome! Of course I'll go. We can go by my house afterward to grab my backpack… I was in a hurry, so I left it," Candace explained sheepishly, giving her friend a small smile.

"That's so like you, always forgetting your things! 'Kay, let's head out!" Slinging her pack over her shoulder, Mina skipped to stand next to Candace with a big smile on her face. She patted the Seedot on the head in glee and took a few steps from where they stood and waved to Candace to follow.

Mina stood at the center's doors and entered once they swished open, her eyes instantly settling on a small boy, just about eleven with a pokeball in his hand, looking around uneasily.

"Oh, god, I feel so old!" The seventeen year old grasped the second pokeball on her pokeball belt and held it firmly in her hand, making her way to the mini-man.

"Um, hi, are you here to see Mina Gosner?"

He nodded and held out the ball. Mina blinked and nodded her head in a confused way, holding out hers as well. The boy took the extended globe and deposited his in her palm, then calmly walked off, leaving the teenager speechless.

Mina blinked twice then shrugged her shoulders and turned her body to the entrance, shoes squeaking on the tiled floor. After a moment of silence, Candace, who had been trying to hold in her laughter, carefully put one hand on top of the other and swiveled her thumbs in the likeness of a turtle.

"Awkwaaard!" she crooned in a singsong voice before dissolving into giggles. Seedot squirmed in her loosened grasp, voicing his agreement. "I can't believe we never paid any attention to Pokemon before. It took Gavin and Craig becoming obsessed and ditching Mauville to get us interested in them at all…"

"Seriously! I mean, if not for them then we couldn't have know that the world holds such cute things!" Mina bounced to Candace and looked at the sphere in her small hand. "I wonder what he traded me. If it's a stupid one I quit. Goodbye Gavin, goodbye lovely Craig – then again, I really do want to see them again. Him again. Whatever. I still really hate him for ditching in the middle of the night though!"

Hooking her arm carefully through Candace's folded ones, she dragged her friend out of the Pokemon center and out into the bright sunlight once more.

"Let's see if that awkward meeting was worth it, shall we? Oh, and great Awkward Squirtle by the way!"

Withdrawing her arm from her companion's, she dropped the pokeball carefully and held her breath when a small form started to appear, then fully form. Mina stared at the small rodent in front of her, the purple creature yawning cutely before looking up at the two girls.

"A… rat? A rat? A purple rat? What the crap?! Candace, what injustice! What a little punk to trade me this, this – " her sentence died on her lips as the green eyes of the human stared into those of the little Pokemon. "Alright, I have to admit that is super cute when it looks at me like that. Aw, my cute little rat thing!"

She knelt down and stroked its head, laughing at the glee it showed at the affection.

"Tata!"

"Oh, it's just so cute." Springing up, she clicked the ball to her belt and addressed Candace. "To your house now?"

Candace, who had been observing the scene, nodded.

"Yeah, let's head that way. Your little rat is called a Rattata, I think. Karolyne has a few at home," she said, leading the way toward the outskirts of the city. Around ten minutes of walking found the two just outside of Mauville, approaching the Quinn family's ranch-style estate. Both Candace's mother and older sister were Pokemon breeders, so living within the city limits had not been an option.

Candace, upon reaching her house, pushed the front door open with a yell of, "Okay, I'm getting ready to go!" Her brother Boyce, who had been sitting just across the living room from the door, scowled.

"Too loud, Candace," he said, making a show of covering his ears. When the blonde rolled her eyes, he grinned, but the twenty-one year old's face fell when he remembered what she had said. "Okay, let me get this straight. The two of you," he pointed to Candace and Mina, "are going to go travel the region and become Pokemon trainers, simply because those two dimwits that you like, Devin and Gabe -"

"Gavin and Craig!"

"- left home to take the gym challenge. Is that right?" Boyce asked, folding his arms across his chest. Candace nodded.

"Well, yeah. Why else would we go?" she questioned, holding Seedot tightly. Her brother rolled his eyes, massaging his temples with the middle and index fingers of each hand to thwart the Psyduck-esque headache that was forming.

"Don't take this the wrong way," he cautioned, "because I love you both. Candace, you're my little sister. Mina, you might as well be my little sister. But I have never heard of anyone becoming a trainer for a more ridiculous reason."

Mina happily followed Candace to her home, stifling a laugh at the look of Boyce's face when Candace yelled her proclamation, but her face fell when the man tried to make some sense of the journey they were about to set off on. Sure, it seemed sketchy that they were off on this Pokemon quest to follow boys, but he didn't understand!

"It's not ridiculous!" Her outburst made her new Pokemon jump in surprise. "You just don't understand. It's Gavin Marshall and Craig Went! They're just not any two boys – they're our boys and if they think they can just leave us then they don't know what we're capable of! Young girls in love do do stupid crazy things."

She then crossed her arms and stuck her tongue at him, only to retract it quickly.

"Sorry. That tongue thing was a little immature. But you'll see, right Candace? It's not a ridiculous reason at all."

Candace nodded vigorously, but Boyce just shook his head.

"Allow me to give you a reality check – neither of you have any claim on those boys. They're not yours," here he paused to make air quotes with his fingers, "and, in case you haven't noticed, they're actually complete dunces. Oh, and if that's not enough reason, Craig's last name is retarded and it makes me laugh."

Mina's folded arms went limp and were replaced by fists of 5'5" fury.

"What! Everyone, EVERYONE, knows that we have taken claim on those two since like, the fourth grade! They're ours – but them being guys they just haven't figured it out yet. Guys are dunces! All guys are, that's common knowledge! And so what if he has a stupid last name? What makes your name much better, huh? Boyce? That sounds like a punctured buoy spewing out air! You have no right to talk."

Candace, who had disappeared up to her room to grab her backpack, entered the living room just in time to hear this, and promptly burst into giggles. Boyce raised an eyebrow at his sister, but addressed Mina.

"Easy, Mini-Me," he drawled. "There's no need to be so harsh."

Mina's eye twitched at her long-forgotten nickname knighted to her by Boyce because she was only upgraded to 5'5 when she reached the age of 15. It wasn't her fault she didn't grow until that age!

"Oh, grr to you, you immature twenty-one year old! Go play in the woods with Kevin and the sticks you guys love so much." Stomping over to Candace she grabbed her arm and forcefully dragged her to the door, her eye still twitching. "See if we ever need your help once we leave this city!"

She closed the door with her head held high, then 'hmmphed' once it was firmly closed only to lower her shoulders in defeat and open the door once again, walking over to where she stood seconds earlier.

"...I forgot my Rattata." Bending down, she scooped the small Pokemon in her arms and exited the house again. Once outside she looked to Candace. "Please tell me you were done in there. If not then I'm going to feel like a big idiot when we go back in there."

Candace, still giggling, shook her head.

"No, I'm good to go. Now, where should we go first?" she asked, pulling Seedot's pokeball off her belt and recalling the acorn Pokemon.

Mina followed Candace's example, taking the empty pokeball and recalled her Rattata.

"Well, Candace," her voice was dripping with sweetness and she moved her body back and forth innocently. "We could mosey on down to Good Old Slateport andcatchtheSSTidaltoLilycove. Just think about it, Candace! We haven't been to Lilycove in forever and it has shopping! We may even catch a few more Pokemon!"

Mina stopped moving and tossed her full pokeball up and down softly in her right hand, her left one resting on her waist in a confident gesture.

"See? I even included Pokemon in my plan!"

"That is a grand idea, Mina! As if I would ever say no to shopping. The SS Tidal should be leaving in…" Candace paused to check the watch that dangled loosely on her left wrist. "In around an hour! We can make it if we hurry." With that said, Candace took off toward Route 110, which connected Mauville and Slateport.

* * *

Joint fanfiction by Kat and Nat, so grammatical errors are shared this time! Heh-heh… but I hope you enjoyed it and are looking forward to reading more of the hilarious journey that Candace and Mina are on!

Love to all!

You've already read, why not review?


	2. Battle!

Disclaimer: We do not own Pokemon. Word.

Hope you enjoy!

* * *

"Wow, that was insane," Candace grumbled. "All those Pokemon, and I didn't think to bring any empty pokeballs to catch them with. On top of that, I get my butt handed to me not once, not twice, but three times!"

To say that she was in a bad mood would be an understatement.

Candace and Mina had made it to Lilycove City, though the trip had been not been a smooth one. Not only had the girls run into numerous wild Pokemon on their way from Mauville to Slateport, but they had encountered a few other trainers as well. Candace had been challenged to – and lost – three battles. Due to this, quite a few stops at the Slateport Pokemon Center had been made, resulting in the two girls almost missing the SS Tidal.

"Tell me about it! I mean, I thought that three pokeballs wouldn't fail me – and what happens?" Mina complained as they walked the crowded streets of the large city, "A stupid Pichu crawls in my bag and takes them all! I didn't even know those things were mischievous! They set me back quite a few Poke."

Mina suddenly stopped and eyeballed something in the display window, shaking her head seconds later and continued to walk.

"And those trainers – you would've thought they would take it easy on beginners! But oh no, those ruthless sons of Poochyenas. Although, it was kind of our fault – who wouldn't challenge girls who were edging their way around the grass and avoiding other trainers?"

"That's a good point, I suppose," Candace sighed, mentally cursing their rotten luck. "Well, my dear, shall we go stock up on essentials? Obviously, we'll need pokeballs. I don't know what else we might have to have, but I'm sure someone at the department store can tell us!"

"Mm hmm hmm, brilliant idea, Candace," came the deep voiced reply that Mina tried her hardest to imitate of a detective she saw on the television.

The afternoon sun sat heavily in the sky and the red head continued to walk along with Candace, her head swishing to the right then the left trying to look for something that seemed familiar.

"Um, Candace, where is the department store?"

Candace laughed, taking her friend by the hand and pulling her toward a large, five-story building in the middle of the city. Once inside, the blonde walked over to the printed directory on the wall, her brown eyes scanning it carefully.

"Okay, it looks like the second floor has the basic needs for trainers. The third floor is for battle aids, the fourth has specialty items, and the fifth has Secret Base furnishings, whatever that means. Shall we just take this one floor at a time?" she asked, turning back to Mina.

Mina gave the girl a one-handed thumbs up and walked to the elevator, eagerly pressing the up button.

"I know we're only going one story at a time, but we have walked a lot today. I think we deserve an elevator ride." Mina strode into the box once it dinged open, hoping that Candace wouldn't point out that they had just spent time on a boat just relaxing and not walking. She pushed the '2' button and waited. "Um, Candace?" The red head peeked her short bob out of the elevator and looked to her friend. "You coming?"

"Sorry, sorry," Candace apologized, hurrying into the elevator. "I was spacing. But, yeah, we deserve an elevator ride. Getting beaten is hard work," she grumbled, obviously still miffed over her losses. The elevator gave a high-pitched ding, signaling it had reached the second floor, and the doors opened. Candace exited first, heading right over to the counter.

"Hi," she greeted the lady behind it, who turned to face Candace when she spoke. "My friend and I are beginning our Pokemon journey, and I was wondering if you could give us a general idea of what we will need…?"

The saleswoman looked over the two girls, a skeptical expression on her face, but she quickly recovered and nodded.

"Well, of course you'll want some pokeballs. You should also probably take some potions, just in case your Pokemon get hurt and you aren't close to a Pokemon Center. There are also items that heal specific conditions such as paralysis, poison, burns, and so on… You may want some of those, depending on where you're going to go," she explained.

From the elevator doors, Mina narrowed her eyes as the saleswoman's skeptical gaze wandered over the two. With confidence the girl strode to the shelves and started looking through all the assorted bottles and -

"Darn-it!" Her voice penetrated what the woman behind the counter was telling Candace and in a defeated walk she made her way to the counter. "Look, lady, we may just be starting out and don't know much about what we're doing, but don't patronize us. With that behind us though," Mina brought her face close to the lady's, "what do you say we need? Pokeballs, of course, and potions? Yes, I do believe potions would be good. How about bread – do you have bread? I haven't eaten since this morning and I think that stupid Pichu stole more than my three pokeballs…"

Her hand drifted to her chin as she started to zone out and talk about bread. Accidently brushing up against the counter one of the spheres slipped off of her belt and hit the ground, her Rattata instantly appeared and walked deliriously into the legs of Candace. Meanwhile, Mina absentmindedly extended her right leg and tripped over the empty pokeball, grabbing a hold on Candace's backpack shoulder as she fell.

Candace crashed down to the ground with her best friend, which, in turn, caused Mina's Rattata to be flung into the air along with Candace's feet. Face flushing, the blonde groaned, wanting nothing more than for the floor to open up and swallow her. From upside down Mina watched Candace fall in slow motion, and had to giggle when she saw her poor Rattata fly into the air as her friend joined her on the floor mere milliseconds later.

The saleswoman, however, was rather amused. She bit her lip to keep from bursting into laughter, and when she had finally composed herself, she spoke once more.

"Sorry, ma'am, we don't have bread. This is a department store, not a grocery store. I'll be happy to set you up with what you need for your journey, though." With this said, the lady walked over to a shelf and collected six potions and ten pokeballs – three potions and five pokeballs for each girl. She then returned to her post, putting the items on the counter. "This should tide you over. That'll be 1900 Poke from each of you."

Mina carefully listened to the saleslady as she excused herself from the counter and gathered the needed things. When she spoke of the due amount, the energetic seventeen year old bounded up from the ground and pulled around her small, circular knapsack to her side and rummaged around for a wad of payment, pushing it on the counter to cover her half and extended her hand down to help Candace up.

"Sorry Candace!"

Candace took Mina's hand, pulling herself to her feet. Once she became vertical again, she paid for her supplies as well, reaching down to pat Rattata on the head after putting the potions and pokeballs in her backpack.

"Sorry about that, buddy," she said, then looked to Mina. "It's fine. Shall we head to the third floor?"

"Sounds good to me." She shoved all of her items in her open bag and zipped it shut. "Hup hup, back in the ball Ratty." The pokeball retrieved from the ground sucked the confused Pokemon back into it and Mina made sure to secure the sphere firmly on her belt before taking a step away from where she stood. "Thanks for the direction!"

Mina saluted the saleswoman and walked towards the open elevator where a group of people flooded out, a majority of them wielding pokeballs and determined looks upon their smug mugs. Mina leapt back and landed in a defensive position behind Candace.

"Candace…" she whispered to the girl in front of her, "Candace, they are trainers! Trainers! Slowly inch to the elevator and maybe we won't be noticed! I don't want our butts handed to us again!"

The group dispersed throughout the small second level and soon the two girls were surrounded by happy looking small children and serious-faced adults, all looking at potions and comparing pokeballs.

"...shit." Mina, still in her defensive position with one arm over her head, the other across her chest, and her weight supported on her left leg while the right was bent and off of the ground, said in a panicked voice. "Candace, I think our losses might have made me paranoid." Candace snorted.

"I think that might be an understatement," she said, grabbing Mina's arm and dragging her into the elevator. Candace pressed the '3' button, and tapped her foot impatiently as generic elevator music began to play. When the doors opened after the tell-tale ding, Candace was, once again, the first one out of the elevator. After looking around at some of the items on the shelves, she paused.

"Hey, Mina," she said, turning to face the seventeen year old, "I don't think we need anything from this floor. These items are things like protein, iron, yada yada, and those are really expensive. The others are things like X Attack, X Speed… I remember my brother talking about those. Chances are, we won't have much use for them as beginners."

Mina froze mid step out of the elevator and looked to Candace at the shelves.

"Oh, ok, that works for me! I don't need to spend more money or break my back by carrying more than I need to. Well, not at this point anyway." Her hand reached behind her head and rubbed a knot that had started to form from her intimate meeting with the floor minutes ago. "Hey, does your head hurt? Anyway, so to the fourth floor for 'Secret Base' items, or shall we continue our quest?" Mina's attention turned to the list on the wall where the floors were categorized.

"I think you're reading it sideways or something. The fourth floor has specialty items," Candace pointed out with a giggle. "Which, we may need some of. Who knows. To the fourth floor!" The blonde retreated back into the elevator, pressing the '4' button. After a short ride, the doors opened, and Candace's attention was immediately drawn to a rack across the back wall of the store.

"Ooh, ooh, Mina! Fishing rods! I want to go fishing!"

Candace immediately ran to the selection of fishing rods, tentatively picking up what was labeled as a Super Rod.

Mina had shrugged her shoulders when they appeared on the fourth floor, acknowledging her mistake at reading lists. "Candace, From now on you're reading all the maps and signs. Knowing me, we would be lost if it was my duty." Her attention, however, was brought to the back of the floor as Candace mentioned fishing rods and cautiously followed the path her friend zoomed off in.

"Fishing? Whatever floats your surfing Pokemon, Candace. Does that really say 'Super Rod'?" Her eyesight caught the small print on the handle of the rod her companion was treating with awe. "Seriously? Super Rod? Do you catch more fish with it or something? Oh! Or maybe better water Pokemon! You should so buy it!"

Mina jumped up and down enthusiastically, first making sure her backpack wouldn't knock anything over before starting her joyous display.

"I'm totally going to!" Candace grinned, running to the counter and dodging other customers as she did so. As soon as she had paid for the Super Rod, she ran back to Mina, pulling her back into the elevator.

"Forget shopping, let's go fish!" Candace frantically pushed the '1' button, mentally willing the elevator to go faster. Mina let loose a small cry of surprise when suddenly grabbed and thrown into the elevator by Candace, just then comprehending what the blonde had said.

"Wait, what! You want to fish instead of shop – what's wrong with you!?" Grabbing her by the shoulders, Mina proceeded to vigorously shake Candace, asking her what was wrong with her as any parent would an extremely slow child. The other passengers in the elevator looked on the scene disdainfully, each wondering silently how these young women could act so childishly in public.

After half a minute of extreme shaking on Mina's part and no change in Candace's mental attitude, the red head heaved a large sigh and walked sadly out of the elevator that had just landed on the ground level.

"Goodbye shopping… I will come back and see your secret base floor," Mina yelled to the ceiling, a fist of single-mindedness thrown into the air for emphasis. Candace proceeded to drag Mina out of the department store and toward the beach.

"We don't even have a secret base!" she pointed out, never slowing down until her sneaker-clad feet hit the sand. She released Mina, sat down near the water's edge, and eagerly cast out her line. After a moment, Candace sighed.

"I forgot, fishing requires patience…"

Mina flopped down on the sand, causing a small poof and grains to be scattered about the area. The trip into the department store had taken no longer than thirty minutes, and the drag to the beach area less than five. She made a 'bleh' sound and rolled over so she was laying on her stomach, the sand going everywhere and propped her head on her hands, her elbows sinking into the land.

"Sure does, Candace. But know what doesn't require patience? Shopping. Not just any kind of shopping, but secret base shopping." Mina closed one eye in attempt to thwart off the strong rays that reflected off of the water only to open it quickly. "Hey, hey! Something's moving in the water close to your line! Look!"

Sure enough, Candace felt a tug on her line. The blonde quickly stood up, hopping up and down giddily as she reeled it in, but her face fell as soon as an orange fish flopped onto the shore.

"A Magikarp," she groaned, carefully unhooking the Pokemon from the line and throwing it back into the water. Sighing, Candace sat back down beside Mina, casting her line out once again.

"What is a secret base, anyway? I mean, obviously a base that is secret. But how do you acquire these secret bases, and what do you use them for?" she pondered aloud, resting her chin on one palm and using the other hand to hold the Super Rod.

Mina had groaned along with her pal as the orange Pokemon emerged from the water, all excitement flushed at the flopping sight. She let her head hit the warm sand when Candace began to talk about the secret bases.

"Maybe it's like where all the good trainers keep their special Pokemon, hoarding them until they are needed. Like those ones who can beat the Elite Four in one hit and such. Which makes me wonder, can everyone get one, or are they just for the super powerful? And if they're for the super powerful, then why would you put the shop for it in a department store!? It's unfair to tease those who cannot have! Ouch."

Mina ended her tirade with reaching to her belt and unclipping the first ball that was causing her discomfort. Her eyes lit up and turned to Candace.

"You haven't seen this little guy, have you?" The simple question was emphasized with the small pokeball becoming the full size one and held out so it could be seen.

Candace, who had been giggling at Mina's own rant about secret bases, paused. She tilted her head.

"Unless it's your Rattata, no," she said, reeling in her line once more as she felt another tug. When she ended up with another Magikarp, Candace scowled, throwing it back. "Stupid fish. I do not want you."

"Ahaha, with our luck you'll only be able to catch those stupid things. But no! It is not my Rattata, but rather," Mina sat up quickly and released the Pokemon trapped inside the ball, "a Spheal! Isn't it so cute!!"

A small, rotund blob of blue blubber with fang-like tusks stared at the two. Mina's body twisted with happiness at seeing her Pokemon again, digging herself deeper into the sand. Candace's jaw fell open, and the blonde nearly dropped her fishing rod in surprise.

"OH-MY-GOD-MINA-IT-IS-PRECIOUS!" Candace squealed, rocking back and forth giddily. She reached over to pet Spheal, hardly able to contain her delight. "How did you get him? I am officially jealous! Wait, it is a 'him', right?" she questioned.

"Sure is! My dad brought him back as a present from one of his trading trips – Kevin was so jealous. But anyway, ahh, he is cute!" Mina's hands clapped together and the Spheal barked in delight at the attention he was receiving. "I can't wait to see what cute form he evolves into! Oh, Candace, your line is moving again!"

As Mina said this, Candace was already reeling her line in. To her dismay, another Magikarp flopped up onto the beach. This time, Candace glared at the offending Pokemon for a moment.

"Damn you, you stupid fish!" she yelled angrily, but the Magikarp simply kept flailing around on the sand, unperturbed. "Why must you mock me?!"

Mina ducked her head and looked around at the people in populated area who were looking in their direction due to Candace's screaming.

"Hey! You two girls!"

The Magikarp was the only thing flailing when the deep, angry sounding voice made itself known just behind them. Mina turned her head to see the large man who cast a shadow around the two girls, and her eye started to twitch for the 100th time that day.

"...shit." Mina's voice was smaller than it had been all day when she peered up at the portly fisherman, equipped with a heavy-duty fishing pole and bulging vest pockets filled with unknown fishing equipment.

"What the hell are you doing to that poor Pokemon?"

Candace, however, did not turn around before continuing in her tirade.

"I am venting my frustration about my inability to catch anything other than worthless Magikarp! It's rather irritating to catch three of these stu-" the blonde paused after wheeling around to face the owner of the voice, eyes widening at the sight of the fisherman. "Ah, that's not what I meant…" She chuckled nervously.

"Worthless? Stupid? Are you a dimwit and blemish on society to treat such a marvelous Pokemon in that way?" His hands snapped to his pocket and pulled out two pokeballs. "Want to see the might of Magikarp in action?"

He dropped both of the balls and with a flourish of light two splashing Magikarp appeared on the sand, just flapping sand in the air. Mina looked over at Candace with a 'what-the-fuck' look written across her face. Her Spheal wobbled forward and with a small motion, raised his fin and poked one of the spazzing things. The fisherman's face turned red in anger and screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Was that a challenge little girl?!"

"What?!" Mina sprung from the ground only to fall into the hole in the sand made by her body and knock Candace's fishing rod onto the other Magikarp. "No, no no no sir, we don't want to fight you!"

"That was a double attack on my Pokemon! This calls for a battle!"

Candace had to bite down on her lip to keep from laughing.

"Of course we'll battle! Come on, Mina, we can take those things!" she insisted, pulling a pokeball off her belt and enlarging it. "Go, Mareep!"

In a flash of light, a small, yellow sheep with a dark blue head appeared, observing its surroundings carefully.

"Reeeep?"

"Candace, are you cra – OH MY GOSH. Hold up guy, look at this! This thing is like utter adorableness! Ahh!" Mina sunk to her knees and wrapped her arms around the newly appeared Pokemon, leaving the fisherman in shock.

"Are you a real Pokemon trainer? Real Pokemon trainers do not act like that, you dolt! Get up and fight! Magikarp, attack that Spheal!"

The fish flopped its tail and hit the ball of flubber, instantly snapping Mina out of her phase. Her green eyes narrowed as she released the fluffy Pokemon and threw out her other pokeball, releasing her Rattata.

"No one. Touches. My. Spheal. Go, Rattata!"

The fisherman's previous face full of shock turned to one of extreme surprise, then fear as he watched the dark determined look on the red head's face. He looked to the blonde, who had the same determination on her face. He addressed Candace.

"Is there something wrong with her head?"

"That's debatable," Candace snorted, grinning at her best friend. "So, what do you say? A two on two battle – my Mareep and Candace's Rattata against both of your Magikarp?"

Hearing that she was about to be in a battle, Mareep's expression became determined, her wool crackling faintly with electricity.

"You're on!"

"Okay, then! Mareep, use Tackle on the Magikarp on the right!" Candace commanded.

"Reep!"

The little sheep Pokemon charged the Magikarp, effectively knocking it into the air. Candace couldn't help but squeal, clapping her hands together excitedly.

"Ah," the fisherman's exclamation dripped from his mouth as his Magikarp hit the ground feet away after being tackled. Mina, who had brushed off the comment about her mental health, pointed at the Magikarp on the left.

"Rattata! Um… bite the one that's left!"

Nothing happened as her hand remained outstretched with her finger pointing at the target. Rattata stared up at her with a confused expression. The fisherman laughed at the novice.

"Ra?"

"You know, you have teeth, can't you bite it or something? Gnaw on its flipper?" Rattata shook his head, a sad look on his face. "That's ok – just tackle it then!"

"Tatta!" The small rat Pokemon ran at the fish, successfully hitting it. Mina looked to Candace.

"We're actually battling! This is so much fun -"

"This is not a game," the fisherman interrupted, "this is a real match, get your head out of the clouds. Now, Magikarp, show us your true power! Splash that Mareep!"

The fish that had been most recently hit floundered up to the sheep Pokemon and bounced up and down in front of her. Candace blinked, trying her hardest to contain giggles.

"Mareep… Tackle Magikarp again. But be careful, you don't want to get hit with that thing's 'true power'!" Candace said to Mareep sarcastically, and the electric Pokemon did as her trainer ordered, knocking it back toward Rattata.

The fisherman stared in horror as first the young girl mocked him then as one of his water Pokemon ceased its flopping.

"Alright Candace! One down, one to go! Rattata, tackle the one that's left!" Rattata shot off towards the flapping Magikarp and rammed it. Instantly the angler fell to his knees and let loose a melodramatic 'no', sufficiently attaining the attention of the very few people who weren't watching the battle.

Mina leaned towards Candace and brought her hand to her mouth to whisper politely.

"Was this a fake battle? That guy acted so tough and pissed off – and now look at him." Her eyes never left the wailing man feet away from them who was crawling towards his knocked out Pokemon. Candace stared at the scene, eyes wide, scooting away from the tall man.

"You know, Mina, I'm not really sure. Either way, this is really sad. Especially with all these people watching," she whispered. Apparently, the blonde was feeling a bit of pity for the fisherman. Candace recalled Mareep, who had padded over to her as soon as the battle was over. Clipping the pokeball back to her belt, she peered down at the fisherman.

"Um, sir? Are… Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not okay! I was just defeated by two immature twits when I started the battle! Would you be okay? NO! I wouldn't think so!" Without another word the man recalled his collapsed Pokemon and trudged off towards the Pokemon Center, not bothering to lift himself off of his knees. "My poor Magikarp! I promise we'll get our revenge someday! I promise you!"

After seconds of no one moving the watching crowd shrugged their shoulders and dispersed, leaving the two stunned girls by themselves.

"Well then. I'll take that as a win, no matter how pathetic the result was. Good job Rattata," Mina recalled her battle Pokemon, "and Spheal, back in you go, also. I think you've been traumatized enough for your poor young self." Heaving a sigh, the girl turned around to face the water and her mouth dropped open in shock. "Candace – your line! It's moving!"

The rod, forgotten on its side, twitched violently and started to edge towards the sea. Candace turned just in time to see this, and rolled her eyes.

"It's probably just a big Magikarp," she whined, starting to walk toward it. Just as she did, it was pulled violently toward the sea. Candace yelped, scrambling after the fishing pole. She amended, "That's too strong to be a Magikarp!"

The blonde dove to catch the Super Rod just before it was pulled into the waves. Once she had a hold on the rod, she stood up and began reeling in her catch with slight difficulty. She dug her heels into the sand when the tugging got stronger.

"Shit! Mina, come help me!"

Mina couldn't help but laugh when her companion took a dive for the escaping rod and ran to help her when she called for assistance. She stood next to Candace, wrapped her hands around the pole and pulled while the blonde reeled.

"Candace – what the hell did you catch?!"

Mina struggled to walk backward, thinking that the movement in the opposite direction would help them win the epic battle taking place between girls-and-unknown-sea-creature. Candace pulled her feet from their burrows in the sand and did the same, reeling the line in as well as she could.

"Whatever I caught, it's freaking huge!" she said and, with a final jerk, brought the line out of the water. The Pokemon attached was launched onto the shore, and Candace's eyes widened.

"That is definitely not a Magikarp."

* * *

Our apologies for any mistakes!

Love Kat & Nat!

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	3. Mt Pyre

And here, folks, is another chapter of the "WTF are they on!?" Pokemon story.

* * *

Mina stared at the Pokemon that just surfaced from the sea with wide eyes and gaping mouth.

"Candace, that definitely isn't a Magikarp. Come to think of it, what the crap is it?"

Beach inhabitants near the two girls turned their heads yet again, their interest in what the new trainers were doing too much to look away from.

"It's a Staryu!"

"Ehh?" Mina looked around at the bystanders whispering to each other about the luck that the blonde girl caught a Staryu within her first hour of fishing. "A Staryu? Its name certainly fits, don't you think Candace? Just the 'star'-part, not the 'yu'," the seventeen year old mused, her finger tapping her chin while she surveyed the wild Pokemon. "Come to think of it, what is a 'yu'? Is that even a real word?"

Candace just stared at her catch as well, blinking at the star-shaped Pokemon before responding.

"Mina, there is no such thing as a 'yu'. Unless you mean the word 'you'. In which case, you are a retard," the blonde giggled, then pulled Mareep's pokeball off her belt. "Alright, let's catch this Staryu! Mareep, go!"

The little sheep appeared in a flash of light, looking around for her opponent. When her eyes fell upon the Staryu, her wool started to crackle faintly with electricity. Staryu moved into a battle stance as well.

"Mareep, tackle it!"

"Reep!"

Mareep rammed the Staryu, knocking it back a few feet. The water Pokemon righted itself, then retaliated by shooting a stream of water at Mareep. The blast hit her in the side, soaking her wool and stunning her momentarily.

"Mareep, can you use thundershock?" Candace questioned, and the little Pokemon shook her head sadly. "Damn… Well, tackle it again, then!"

The electric Pokemon complied, but when the two combatants collided, the weak electric current that had been coursing through Mareep's wool, which had been amplified due to the soaking from Staryu's water gun attack, had grown strong enough to administer a shock. Staryu crumpled to the ground, sufficiently weakened.

"Yes!" Candace exclaimed, grinning and pulling an empty pokeball out of her pack. "Time for the capture – pokeball, go!"

Candace threw the pokeball at the Staryu, crossing her fingers when a flash of light engulfed the weakened Pokemon. The ball wiggled once… Wiggled twice… Wiggled three times…

Then stopped moving.

Mina had stood still through her comrade's battle, her excited eyes following the movements of Candace's Pokemon and those of the unfamiliar one as the small duel escalated in its own epic proportions, only to end in a quick flick of the wrist as a ball was hurled at the star.

The moment the orb stopped rolling Mina found her voice.

"YES!"

Her hands shot up in the air as she jumped in delight at the sight in front of her, then rushed to her friend and caught her in a ferocious side hug that almost sent the two flying back to the sand Mina had personally become so fond of.

"Candace, you did it! You caught the Staryu – freaking amazing."

The small crowd around the two adventurers clapped politely, some nodding their heads at the scene displayed for their afternoon delight and enjoyment. Candace gave a grin and a thumbs up to the crowd, then ran over and picked up the pokeball.

"Oh. Em. Gee. I caught Staryu!" she squealed, hopping up and down on the spot. She attached the new pokeball to her belt, then picked up Mareep and spun her around in the air. "You were awesome!" The little sheep cooed in return, flailing her short legs happily. Candace turned to Mina, cocking her head to the side curiously.

"Now what?"

Mina splayed a crazy grin across her face and outstretched her arm, her finger pointing to an island in the distance that fumed with smoke.

"Onward!" Silence followed her outburst, only the crunching sand of the onlookers returning a silent cry of agreement. Even her Pokemon, situated now at their trainer's feet after the battle ended, looked at Mina with confusion in their eyes. Her hand lowered in uncertainty and a small laugh escaped her lips, "...or not. I mean, it only looks to be a freaking awesome island full of unknown Pokemon that would be fun to pet and look at and catch and – CANDACE! Now that you have caught a wild Pokemon, let's see what that secret base deal is about!"

Mina had gone from a firm standing, determined trainer to a girl with stars practically dancing in her eyes as she thought of the secret base.

"...tatta?" The purple rodent looked around the legs to the small blue blubber ball who blinked in confusion. Suddenly, Mina stopped gushing about bases and turned to look at Candace.

"Let's just go to that island."

Candace snorted, but nodded in agreement.

"Sounds good to me. I should probably take Staryu to the Pokemon Center to be healed first… One moment!" With this said, the blonde took off toward the red-topped building. Ten minutes later, she returned to the beach, out of breath.

"That… was probably not a good idea," she panted, then straightened up and looked at Mina. "Alright, to this super awesome island we go! Staryu, come on out!" The blonde released her newest Pokemon, then looked out toward the island. "It sure looks like a long swim…"

Mina stretched as she tossed the Pokeball with her Rattata up and down, looking to Candace.

"Yeah, it will. One guy in the crowd said it would take about an hour to reach it. Then again, he looked really iffy and his shirt was ugly and creased so I don't know if I would trust him. Buuut then again, he was the only one willing to tell me anything about the swim over there." Shrugging, she replaced the sphere and glanced down to her Spheal.

"Hey, Candace, do you think I could make it to the island on Spheal? I'm not so sure I can – I might squash the poor thing and kill him."

At the sound of his name Spheal looked to Mina and cooed, happy at the attention he seemed to be receiving until he comprehended the word 'squash' and 'kill' to be bad words and was struck with terror at the prospect of dying in the middle of the ocean.

"Sphealllllll…"

Giggling, Candace nodded.

"I think you should be fine, as long as you don't put all your weight on him or anything. Sort of just hold on to him like you would hold on to a life preserver, and do your part in helping to swim and stay afloat. He's just sort of like your inner tube. A very small inner tube that you could crush at any moment," she said.

Candace looked over her own water Pokemon, seemingly trying to decide how she could utilize its swimming abilities. She hesitated, then walked slowly toward the water. When she reached the shoreline, the blonde tentatively dipped her hand in.

"Crap, it's a little bit chilly. Oh well. I guess we should probably put our shoes in our backpacks so they don't get soaked. I can't stand soggy shoes," she said, bending down so she could unlace her sneakers. The fact that their clothes would be soggy enough did not seem to register in her mind.

"Wait wait wait – chilly? Hold up, Candace. I don't like soggy clothes OR shoes, and my knapsack is worn and easily water logged and when we get there it's going to be freaking FREEZING. It's already mid-afternoon and when we get there the sun will be low in the sky and I have not been struck with a brilliant idea."

For the first time in over an hour the red head ran to her abandoned sack left where her first plop in the ground occurred, fell to her butt and skillfully yanked off her green shoes, shoving them and her socks into the packed bag.

"Arrg, there's sand in my pants that better wash out with those waves of water, Candace, or I'll be one irritated trainer." She pulled herself up to a standing position and grabbed her sack with one hand while pushing back unruly flaming hair from her green eyes. From her spot on the warm beach Mina made her way to her friend at the water's edge and called her water Pokemon to her side. "It's now or never I say. The water isn't going to get warmer and our clothes sure aren't getting drier."

Candace, who had also put her shoes in her backpack, stood up and started to tiptoe into the water, cringing as the waves lapped at her shins. Staryu followed, though it was finding the water much more enjoyable.

"We are going to freeze our asses off," the blonde grumbled. When she was in up to her waist, Staryu swam out in front of her, coming to a stop with its back turned to its trainer. Candace took this as a signal to hold on, and so she did, clinging to her Pokemon and beginning to kick with her legs to aid in the swimming. Staryu surprised her by taking off at a surprising speed – not incredibly fast, but enough to make her kicking pointless.

The blonde and her Staryu led the way, and thus the girls' incredibly saturated journey began.

"Oh my god, it's freaking cold," Candace mumbled, shivering as a cool breeze blew over her. The girls had made it to the island — which was called Mt. Pyre, or so they read on a sign — unharmed and without any major mishaps, though it had taken significantly longer than an hour.

Mina's teeth noisily chattered as she bent down on the reclaimed surface that her feet could touch and stroked the small walrus's head affectionately.

"S-s-sorry Spheal, you m-must be tired-d-d. Bu-but is it's any con-con-consolation in the least, I'm s-scared shitless by being h-here." With a small smile she rose to join her friend, taking in the low fog that cradled the earth, bouncing the sun's rays off the top of the gray mist.

"Hey, Candace-e, we should f-find a Pokemon c-c-center. Spheal doesn't look t-too well. And I'm sure it's w-warm. And Mina likes the warm."

"Good idea," Candace said, scanning the area. There was a set of double doors built into one side of the mountain, so she did the most logical thing her hypothermic brain could think of – head toward them. She recalled Staryu as she started inside, briefly pausing in her stride to open the door for Mina.

As soon as they were inside, the girls were faced with a large, dreary room. Candace wrinkled her nose, looking around for any indication of what the building was… And found it in the form of numerous rows of tombstones. Mina was less than a step behind Candace since the two girls had entered the strange room, wincing every time their knapsacks made a small noise that echoed off of every surface in the confined space.

"Candace, this place is creepy. And creepy in cold clothes don't mix – at all!" The older girl's hand wrapped around her friend's arm, clutching it like her only lifeline upon seeing the tombstones Candace was peering at. "And is it just me or do you hear eerie music too? OH MY GOD - and footsteps – Candace, do you hear footsteps and eerie music?"

Mina's head whipped around in all directions, her scarlet locks going everywhere as she pinpointed the source of the tumult. Candace snorted, patting her friend's hand.

"I think you're imagining things. But it is really creepy in here…"

The blonde looked around, then spotted a sign on the far wall across the room. She approached it cautiously, peered at it for a moment, and summarized what it said.

"Apparently Mt. Pyre is, um, a mausoleum for Pokemon. We can explore all six floors of the building or take the side door out and climb up the mountain," she said, rubbing her cold arms. "Please tell me that you haven't developed any morbid fascination with this place and we can go explore."

Mina stared Candace down as the simple question was posed. "Oh yes, Candace, I would LOVE to stay in here for extra hours on end in a place that commemorates dead things." She moved her body away and stomped to the side door, stopping suddenly. "I don't even have my shoes on." Her head lowered to glance at her feet through the hanging mist. "Screw shoes. Viva la bare feet!"

Mina's fist pumped to the air crookedly, then continued her move to the door, "Wet clothes…threatening music…bare feet…I'm out." Candace giggled, following dedicatedly after her friend.

The two girls exited the mausoleum to find a small grassy area and then steps carved into stone the led up the side of the mountain. Candace looked around, fidgeting uncomfortably.

"We may not be in the fog yet, but this is still creepy as hell," she mumbled, calling out Staryu. "Why did we come he- oh, wait. Pokemon. That's right. Okay, let's get to exploring." With these words, Candace strode off into the tall grass, Staryu following behind her.

"Good call, Candace. Pokemon. That's the main objective here. Pokemon. C'mon, Rattata." Mina reached to her belt and released her small purple friend, going in a different direction from Candace in the turf, the look of determination on her face returning with every step she took in the dimly lit area.

"Hey, so, Candace, are we in a cave or something? And if we are, how will we know when the sun is going down so we can get back to the mainland? Because I don't want to be stuck here after dark – it's just not a dream of mine. Right, 'tata?"

The small Pokemon looked at his trainer, giving her the vocalized agreement she sought, and continued to travel farther into the grass.

"I think we're just on the side of the mountain… But don't take my word for it," Candace called over, making sure to stay close to Staryu. "So, I wonder what kind of Pokemon are up here… Hopefully they're not ugly or creepy, like this place…"

"For real. I don't want an ugly Pokemon – wait, that makes me sound shallow, doesn't it? What I meant to say is that I hope whatever Pokemon I acquire during our journey to find Craig and Gavin aren't going to make me shudder – AH!!"

Mina squealed as a small, rustic coloured Pokemon crawled from the grass and halted near her, raising one back paw to scratch behind the pointed ears. Mina's eyes dilated as she took in the sight before her.

"Rattata, we have to get that Pokemon! Um…tackle!" Uncertainty ran through the small rat as it barreled ahead, catching the fellow creature off guard and sending it back a few feet instantly. "Good! Now, um, do it again!" Gaining in confidence, Rattata once again ran toward the fox and knocked it for the second time, rendering it dazed and confused.

Mina took the chance presented before her and snatched an empty ball, throwing it in the direction the defenseless Pokemon. She let loose a huge breath when the sphere stopped twitching and skipped to her victory.

"Yes! Rattata, we did it! Yes!" Seizing the red and white ball she patted her friend on the head, smiling at him. The excitement was short-lived, however, for there was a shriek from the direction in which Candace had disappeared. A cry from Staryu was also heard, and sounds of a scuffle met Mina's ears. Minutes later, the blonde came into view, a smug grin on her face and Staryu following tiredly behind.

"Did I hear a triumphant cry from over here?"

"That in which yours was mirrored." Mina smiled at Candace, holding up a Pokeball in triumph. "What did you catch? I caught a – a fox…thing…" Her unoccupied hand reached to her head, scratching her forehead only to recover and hold out an eager thumbs up. Candace raised an eyebrow.

"A fox thing? Let me see," the blonde said, recalling Staryu. Nodding, Mina threw down the Pokeball and watched as the small form materialized; and continued to watch as the fox turned to face her with anger emanating from every piece of fur on the body.

"Ehh…I think she's mad…"

"Vuuull!" Following the irritated cry was a jet of fire, aimed straight at Mina.

"HIT THE DECK!"

Candace snorted with laughter as her best friend hit the ground, shaking her head sadly.

"Mina, that's a Vulpix. Karolyne has a few at home," Candace said, kneeling down to be even with the small Pokemon. "What did you do to piss her off so badly?"

Mina staggered to her feet and watched as Candace came into close quarters with the animal. "Careful Candace… I don't have anything to treat a burn – and that thing is rabid!" The Rattata trotted up beside the newly captured Pokemon and sat next to her, obtaining a remark about being a traitor from his handler.

The grass around the five of them shifted slightly, as if waiting for something to happen; perhaps another attempted burn victim.

"I guess she's mad at me. I had Rattata attack when her was defenseless – but look at her! She's so cute, I couldn't just let her walk away!" Mina's arms were flying dramatically while she spoke to her friend feet away, thinking that the more ridiculous she looked the more her point would come across.

"Wow, Mina, way to be a douche," Candace said, standing up. "Attacking a poor, defenseless Pokemon like that. You should be ashamed. But, hey, would you mind being ashamed somewhere else? I don't want to be here — or in the middle of the ocean, for that matter — after dark. Let's head back to the mainland."

Candace motioned toward the side door, and started toward it. There was no way she was spending any more time near a graveyard than was absolutely necessary.

"Good call. And my feet wouldn't mind being sheathed again…" Recalling her two Pokemon she chased after Candace, bracing herself for the freezing water to come and her soon-to-be flat Spheal.

* * *

Hope you liked reading it as much as Nat and I adored writing it!!


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